So I just left the last home Don and I lived in, I am joyous and relieved. It will be 4 years Sept 18, and every time I went back to the old house, I just saw broken old sad memories. So much money mismanagement, bills on shutoff status, living for the moment, but boy was it fun!!! I am taking all the memories, and him with me, and I know he’s smiling, and so proud of me.
I am going to be focusing on my health, my body, and my mind/soul. I need to keep my focus on myself, so I can finally enjoy my new freedom. I was married/living with a man since I was 19, I was 47 when I was widowed. I knew I needed to work on myself seriously since I was young, family issues and #metoo #me3 #me4, plus an absent father, makes for quite a mental “soup”. I thought sex WAS love, until well after I met Don, and he taught me the difference. Both my ex-husband, and Don were situations where I was in dire need. Ex, bad bad decision, so many red flags, even his favorite psychic on Santa Monica Blv, she made my ex leave, then told me “he’s not for you This will end badly, leave now” Didn’t listen, but she was right on point. Sometimes the message is screamed in our faces, and our own needs/desires cause us to “not listen to our gut”. Now Don was hanging around the bar my ex and I hung at, being helpful because yet again we had no car. The night before I left, My ex wanted me to go home, and I was too scared to go, he put me over his 6ft4 240 shoulders, and carried me to circle K, kicking and screaming, literally, he says “oh shes just drunk, ignore her.” They did, not one person even looked at me. We get home, and the fight is on and very bad, I was over it, he put a sawed-off shotgun to the back of my head, and I prayed, “please kill me, I cannot do this one more day” He pulls the trigger, it’s unloaded. The next day, back at the same bar, I see the look, ex goes to the bathroom, and I look at our friend, and say, “I’m leaving” he says “you can’t”. I grab the 2 cue sticks, no money no id no nothing because I was basically a hostage in my own home. I called Don’s pager w/ #911, he called immediately to a payphone 2 blocks down, was there in 4 minutes, and I never left! He was my knight in a red Oldsmobile 98! Don, my love, I will always have you in my heart, your lessons, I finally got, a few years too late, but I heard you, and now I am that confident, capable woman you always knew I was! Baby, lets #THRIVE, Guess I’m solo Toad, until my “next Toad” Epic adventures!!!